When I was setting up this blog I found the social vibe widget, which I placed as a footer on the page you’re viewing. The charitable organization I selected was “To Write Love on Her Arms” since the HRC or the NCTE weren’t options. TWLOHA is an organization aimed at preventing suicide and self-injury, with money being funneled into very real and very good suicide prevention organizations such as the suicide hotline, 1-800-suicide. TWLOHA staff work through social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace to encourage people that are hurting.

The primary reason I picked TWLOHA as my social vibe charity is that I’m a cutter. I understand how hard it is to see the end of the tunnel and realize that there’s no light. I understand the need to feel something other than the hurt that we feel sometimes, and I understand what cutting does to the hurting person. It helps to compartmentalize pain, expressing anguish in a real and tangible way. For a cutter, that helps us hold on. It helps us to feel like we are in control of our lives and our feelings. I have a strong tendency to draw inward when I’m hurting rather than reaching out to others. Sometimes it can feel like no one would want to be around you or support you, and when those kind of feelings creep in, cutting is a way of dealing, a way of coping.

I understand that this coping method hurts the people around us. It scares them, it intimidates them, and causes them a great deal of anxiety. Too frequently, those closest to us don’t know how to help and that scares them even more. Too frequently, I don’t know how to verbalize my feelings, the thing I need at that very moment. Often, what I really need is nothing more than a person who is willing to listen, a person who will bear those unbearable feelings with me, a person who, as my therapist says, “will get down in the mud and just sit there with you.”

If you’re thinking about hurting yourself, and you’re reading this, and I have only one thing to say to you, it’s this: you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve the hurt. If you don’t have someone who will get down in the mud there with you, call a suicide hotline and get a hold of someone who will.

If you’re not a cutter, but you have the time, or the money, please seriously consider giving to TWLOHA or to any of the suicide/self-injury prevention groups listed on their website.

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